The Illusion of Happiness
This week, I came across the term Cherophobia. For those of us that feel that modern-day phobias are too many to count, this specific one will interest you. It is the fear of being happy. Yes. People actually fear happiness and avoid being happy or even entertaining the idea of having a calm, joyful, or content moment.
Such kinds of people have an intrinsic belief that happiness precedes chaos or anarchy. Any slight indication of it and they brace for impact. I know. This is no way for a person to live, but what to do when you have prior experience that pointed to the same. That happiness comes in bouts before pain and anguish wreak havoc.
Essentially, a cherophobic will smell a fun opportunity a mile away and coyly sit it out. While the fear may be irrational, the idea of having a short-lived happy moment is less desirable that staying in a neutral or sad state. Hopefully, in perpetuity. It may be because the person has had such an experience that ended up being traumatic or that they do not want to experience the supposedly green grass on the other side. Cherophobia, thus, classifies as an anxiety disorder.
While the term may be new, at least to me, it is a common phobia among us. I remember this one time I invited my friend out to a party. He declined but I had to pester him for a reason. He said that there were too many dynamics in the party and he was not mentally primed to process them. I nudged him with the idea that it would be fun.
“How long will the fun last?” he paused.
The question got me thinking as to the longevity of happiness. To my friend, happiness would come and go and then he would probably go back to another differing state. The more I thought about his statement, the more I bought the idea that happiness in a transitive feeling or mood that comes and go. And if it is not permanent, the predicate suggests that it’s an illusion that interrupts other more stable states, albeit temporarily.
And so, the question that has been lingering on my mind is How can one achieve lasting happiness?
Sadly, there is no conceivable way to do this from my perspective. Firstly, because I am human and humans think. Thoughts are not good for happiness. They drag along worry, anticipation, depression, anxiety and all the mental concoctions that are discovered on a daily. Secondly, I am a realist and would never entertain the thought of perpetual happiness. At least not in this world. And thirdly, I do not exist in a vacuum. I share most spaces with other people and their acts directly affect my reactions and responses. Most people have a tendency of getting on one’s nerve in a way that being happy around them is virtually impossible.
We should be in “charge of our own happiness,” I know. However, this ideology is only good in theory. The world is pitted against our happiness. Suffice to say, we can only moderate our reactions to what happens around us in such a way that they do not affect our sanity. Nonetheless, it would be blatantly ignorant to expect happiness and particularly manage to reign in happiness onto your life forever.
However, some people have had the notion that they can stay happy forever. At this point, we have already established that it’s delusional to live a truly happy life. This means that those that try to maintain happiness in their lives have to compromise on some aspects of life, sometimes to a great detriment to their being in the long-run.
Drugs
Drugs are at the top of the things that we resort to in vain attempts to achieve lasting joy. They alter the normal functioning of the brain by interfering with neuro-transmission and processing of signals. When drugs and alcohol get into the brain, they trigger a neurochemical reaction that induces the release of dopamine, which is turn causes a pleasurable sensation. Dopamine, also called the happy hormone, increases the sense of well-being and achievement in a way that drives out fear, worry, anxiety and other negative feelings.
However, when the dopamine level wanes, after the effects of the drugs reduce, the person comes to terms with reality and has to deal with unpleasant feelings. Now, this person wants to be in a happy state at all times yet the world is offering alternate states that are undesirable. So, what to do? The person seeks more drugs or alcohol for quick busts of dopamine to sustain the illusion of a happy life. Eventually, the poor being develops dependency on drugs or alcohol.
I watched a wellness podcast recently with a message that the brain can be re-wired to produce dopamine only in certain circumstances. Whilst the brain releases dopamine in a reward system format. It is a reward for attaining personal achievements. If our brains frequently interpret the entry of drugs into the blood system as a form of achievement, then it can solely produce that dopamine when such conditions are met.
And so, to put it in perspective, an individual takes drugs or alcohol to feel happy. The drugs trigger a reaction that produces dopamine and creates a pleasurable sensation. Further, continued use of the drugs tricks the brain to register that the circumstance to produce the dopamine is after drugs or alcohol intake. And thus, this person has inhibited happiness from his being unless they are on some drug of sorts.
Such a tricky situation to be in, if you ask me.
Vices
Vices are also some of the things that people resort to when trying to live a ‘forever happy life.’ They may include anger, lust, gluttony, ego, envy, and pride, deception, gambling among others. Somehow, people manage to use these vices to generate senses of accomplishment, which in turn leads to the release of the happy hormone. Nonetheless, most of these vices fall under unconventional social behaviors and face ridicule all around. Therefore, while they may be used for a short-term gratification and happiness, their usage is not sustainable.
Some people also take normal behavior to extremes in a quest to stay happy. Over-exercising, immersion into careers, adventure, and education are some of the things that we try to leverage to achieve lasting happiness.
Regardless, we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. We are not perfect ourselves. It would, therefore, be unwise to expect perfection to ebb from a flawed ecosystem. In extension, happiness is not the constant state of the world. In fact, chaos takes the bulk of what characterizes the globe. Each one of us is trying to find pockets of peace and happiness in-between and enjoy it to the maximum.
Is there an alternate?
As I was researching happiness, I came across tens of articles that establish a causal relationship between religion and happiness.
The papers show glaring evidence that religious people are happier than non-religious ones. Let me remind you that these results are from statistics and as the saying goes, numbers don’t lie.
The happiness in religious people comes from their dependence on a higher power. They know that no matter what happens, someone stronger, more loving, and capable of protecting them has got their back. Therefore, they do not cave to the intricacies of life and the fluctuating states it presents.
Notably, while non-religious people look for happiness in things such as vacations, promotions, private jets, designer clothing, and making merry, their religious counterparts derive it in knowing that God is a prayer away and can get them out of any situation. Religious people also have the gift of fellowship that gives them a sense of identity and support, which also add up to one’s happiness.
I am a religious person myself. This is probably the reason I do not succumb to vices, drugs, or alcohol as pathways to happiness. Afterall, I know that all shall work out eventually, regardless of the state I am in. This significantly lowers my stress levels allowing me to concentrate on only what matters.
Again, having faith in God comes with an innate peace that can only be experienced to know what it feels like. That and of course, the promise of a better, care-free, out-of-this-world, perpetually happy after-life.
Sounds like an illusion, doesn’t it? Well, it’s all in the pursuit of happiness.
