Throw in the Towel
If you may…
I have been ‘missing in action’ for a while in this space but I intend to stay this time. Quick update on this; because I have been handling some internal demons. We all have some and until we defeat them, they will always be a thorn on the backside.
While at it, I have learnt that winning in some difficult situations requires surrender. Total acceptance that the more you fight, the more difficult the situation gets for you.
Growing up, I watched boxing matches. I always wondered why the trainer would throw in the towel, while it was the fighter taking in the punches. The question that would always linger in my head is whether there was a chance that the boxer would pull a comeback and defeat his opponent.
What if throwing in the towel was the wrong move and the fighter would eventually win the match if the decision to concede delays for a bit?
Now that I am older, and a bit wiser, I know that throwing in the towel prevents two eventualities, further injury and possibly the death of the fighter, or an unexpected win. The latter is highly unlikely. The trainer not only coaches the fighter to win but also accompanies him to the ring, advices him on what to do, and ultimately decides to throw the match if the need arises.
He is like a lifeguard in a swimming area who watches you struggle with the water and uses his discretion to determine a life and death case before pulling you from the water.
My love for boxing eventually led me to UFC. For those that do not know, fights in UFC are a matter of life and death. A small mistake could see you get a life-long injury thereby destroying your professional career as a fighter. While the game has strict rules, it has a lot of liberty for participants that breaking legs, jaws, nose-bridges, and even ribs is a dull reality (Check some UFC videos on YouTube and see for yourself).
You will be amazed that winning a UFC match means a bloodied face and possibly some broken joints here and there.
However, UFC matches are different to boxing in that the fighter’s corner cannot throw in the towel. The decision to concede lies solely on the fighter. He decides whether to end up with broken joints or live to fight another day. This is how all of us live. We all fight different battles each day and decide when to say enough and concede. The distinction to determine a losing battle and a winnable one is tantamount to our successes.
Ideally, we should possess the discipline to let go at the most appropriate time or bring the victory home appropriately. While it is understandable that we all want to remain optimistic, loathing the idea of relinquishing hope, we ought to recognize that defeat is a part of our lives.
Renowned author Maya Angelou says that “You will face many defeats in life, but never let yourself be defeated.”
This means that we will throw in towels many times in life, all in the quest of preparing for a win in the same fight or a different one with more worthy opponents. We only lose if we do not recognize that we need to let go at that specific moment lest we experience the defeat that will cost us an opportunity to ever try again.
In this light, I am amazed by the spirit of recovering alcoholics. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings, one starts by stating their name and acknowledging that they are an addict. This acceptance of the defeat is the premise of the entire program as it empowers the addict to fight another day, month, or year to win against alcoholism.
Now, alcoholics wouldn’t trample over their addiction by drinking more and hoping for a miracle to mitigate its effects in their lives, would they? The best thing that happens to them is knowing when to throw in the towel and accepting that they can no longer continue drinking and fair well in the respective capacities.
It is prudent to know that throwing in the towel is not entirely giving up. It is accepting that the prevailing situation is beyond your control and giving yourself an opportunity to prepare for the next victory. In other words, accepting defeat is a form of delayed gratification and as soon as we learn from the mistakes and act accordingly, we will surely emerge triumphant in your next trials.
Thus, whenever you feel like you have given it your all, your strength and charisma have waned, or you have pushed yourself to the limit and the situation is not giving, maybe it is time to relinquish all hope. Throw in the towel and wait for the next opportunity!
